Kirsty Dolan is 22 years old and is due to complete her degree in Adult Nursing at the end of 2024. She is excited about pursuing her dream of nursing and is delighted to have secured a placement with the NHS. However, this was all in doubt when Kirsty found herself struggling following the death of her much-loved dad, Robert.

Robert was first diagnosed with Parkinson's when he was only 48. Following the diagnosis, Kirsty, who was only about 10 at the time, along with her mum and older sister, became carers for him. As his condition deteriorated over the next 10 years, he was in and out of hospital, and the family dedicated more of their time to providing care at home. Then COVID hit, and they found themselves providing 24-hour care for Robert, isolated from the outside world. Kirsty split her time between caring and studying.

“COVID was such a strange time,” says Kirsty. “Obviously we weren’t allowed outside, but I have a memory of it being such a nice day and deciding to take my dad a walk. We got his wheelchair out and just enjoyed being outside.”

‘We even got to bring our dogs in for a visit.’

“His condition got worse and then in 2021, he ended up coming to the hospice for inpatient care. He had developed supranuclear palsy and needed specialist care. He was in the IPU for about a week where he just received the very best care you could imagine. We got to spend as much time with him as we could, and we even got to bring our dogs in for a visit.”

“We spent quality time with Dad, listening to his favourite music and had the peace to enjoy our time together. When he was nearing the end of his life, we all stayed over at the hospice in the family rooms so we could be close. And then after he died, we got to spend a few hours with him, again listening to his favourite music. We had as much time as we needed to say goodbye.”

In the year after Robert’s death, Kirsty found herself struggling. At one point she even considered dropping out of her university course and giving up on her dream of becoming a nurse. She’d heard about the Family Support Service at the hospice and decided to email and ask for some help.

‘It changed my life.’

“I was really struggling; I knew something wasn’t right with me but I just didn’t know how to help myself. I was at breaking point and had gone to the doctors who offered me medication, but I didn’t want to take it. That wasn’t the help I needed. So, I emailed the hospice and Janette from Family Support got in touch – and I have to say, it changed my life.”

“I was worried about coming back to the hospice because of the memories it might have held, but I got over that and honestly, it changed my life.”

“The support wasn’t counselling as such. Janette worked with me over a period of time and just helped me see things differently. I think I hadn’t faced up to my dad dying, and then with all the other pressures – university, friendships – I just wanted to drop out. Janette helped me make sense of everything. She helped me to find out how to help myself. It really was a lifeline, and I needed that support so much.”

‘I just don’t think I would have got here without the hospice.’

“One of the things Janette suggested was printing out old photos of me with my dad and remembering those times with him. It helped so much to be able to remember the happier times we had.”

“The support I got helped me feel stronger and make sense of everything. I’m so happy I continued at university – I just don’t think I would have got here without the hospice.”